Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Traumatic Markers

Birth memories can contain traumatic memories to some families.  So a certain date can carry a traumatic marker in the family's thinking.

When you hear a date like September llth - does it leave you with a smile or a sigh?  The same can be true when a family is anticipating labor.

Whether the date will carry the memory of losing a favorite aunt - a mother - or even tragically a child, the family may be very concerned that labor and birth will fall on that date.  One family years ago worried about an entire month. Or the date one spouse discovered a terrible secret, etc.  There can be so many reasons a certain date leaves a pain in your heart.

What can be done - many times we can't change the date the birth begins, but we can change how we look at it.  Could we rewrite the feeling we have about that date - loss of a favorite aunt can be now replaced with the birth of a dear child.  The child doesn't "replace" that person, but the feeling about the date can be changed.  It takes focus and effort but how you perceive that date can be changed. It may also take time for the pain to soften.

But in anticipating the birth of a child, try not to focus too much on the date that baby "should" or "should not" arrive but rather be excited to see what date the baby picks! And you'll have a date with a great memory and feeling.

No comments:

Post a Comment