Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Quiet Confidence

Recently I heard from a mom that I had worked with more than once and what I remember the most from her births is her "quiet confidence" I have tried to encourage other families to imitate that feeling.

What do I mean by "quiet confidence"?   When she entered the hospital, she felt secure in her knowledge of her baby inside her.  Not that she didn't follow medical direction in most cases, she wanted a safe birth.  But when a decision had to be made with her medical team - if she safe and wanted more time for things to progress or to decline an exam - she felt confident in expressing her feelings.  She did not argue - she just expressed how she felt - and the medical team in the end respected her choices. Obviously in an emergency situation, she would have proceeded with the medical recommendations. But these were not time sensitive choices.

The birth was peaceful and safe - and everyone was happy.  But there were a few times that she quietly declined an exam or starting a procedure because she felt inside that things were changing and her baby was moving closer to the delivery.

I try to encourage families to share in the discussion of decisions - not from a medical standpoint which is generally not their expertise - but from a sense of themselves and their babies.  When they feel quietly confident to at least share in the conversation, the decision feels better to everyone.  And in the end, they need to trust their medical team to provide a safe delivery.

So when you are facing  a decision in labor, share in the conversation with a quiet confidence and you should feel better about the direction of the birth.  That is - if the baby cooperates!  My hope is for families to have a safe, peaceful birth.