Saturday, July 2, 2011

Should I Consider a Doula for the Next Birth?

I wasn't sleeping one night and thought about all the birth stories I had heard from moms - when they went through labor the first time and came out of it with a bad memory of the experience.  So I put together a poem as if I was a mom thinking about having another child.  Here is my poem.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so they say
So why don’t I feel about my birth the right way.
That moment was supposed to be so treasured for life
But is only a memory of trauma and strife.

I know my son is healthy and for that I am grateful
But the memory of his birth is still very painful
I thought I was so prepared for what I would face
But then labor started with an out of control pace.

The classes, the books, all our desires became a blur
As I fell into a mindset where I felt so unsure
I didn’t know what to do, what to ask for, my rights
And the end result felt like a cascade of frights.

So next time how do I make the day more cherished.
Wait, am I crazy, I felt I almost perished.
No, that’s not true, and my boy is so amazing.
Another precious child is definitely my craving.

So what can I do this time that last time I didn’t try.
Is there a different class or a book I can buy?
All my friends’ birth stories are locked in my head.
How do I move past all the fear and the dread.

I’ve heard that a doula can give you great aid
Can help when your worried, or frustrated or afraid
She can  remind you of positions and choices you could make.
But the decision is still mine, this is my journey to take.

My husband and mother can make me feel bold.
They will not be replaced by a doula, I’m told.
The room will feel calmer, peaceful, and informed.
Isn’t that what I wanted when my first son was born?

I’m feeling stronger about this, what I’d really like to do
I know I can speak up and should be listened to
That my voice really matters – wow my thinking has changed.
I’m now looking forward to childbirth again.

So perhaps I’ll look into doula support for this birth,
And I’ll talk to my husband and explain why she’s worth
Bringing her into our team, a doula will lighten our journey.
With my husband and a doula I can have a wonderful memory.