QUIET CONFIDENCE

I had a client who had this quality - quiet confidence.  She knew herself and her baby and had confidence in the directions she wanted to go in labor.  So even though her doctor wanted to do an exam or break her water, the mom held firm to what seemed right to her.  These were not medical issue discussions, but more pushing the time allowed to labor normally.  This couple were so well suited to supporting each other and moved through their labor at their own pace.  It was interesting to watch the discussion between staff and this mom - she just held her ground for what felt right to her - of course, with no medical concerns being involved.  It didn't become a heated argument or challenging the doctor's medical ability, just a firm stand on issues that were important to this mom, in a quietly confident voice.

Is that ability possible for any mom - I think yes.  But it has to start in pregnancy, really getting to know yourself and your baby.  Trusting your instincts even if you have never labored before - you are still the best person to know your child. Testing out your voice at your doctor's visits - the sky won't fall in on you if you choose not to have a routine exam--if there is no medical reason for it.

When facing labor, many moms ask "will they let me" whether it comes to positions, clothing, music, lighting, etc.  Remember, you are a part of the decision making process.  Your voice is still valuable.  It still matters how you feel - what you think.  So a better way to ask these questions is:  "would this enhance my birth, is there a benefit to the lighting being low, playing music I like, using my own clothing, standing instead of laying down".  If there is a medical reason this is not to your benefit, the staff will be happy to explain it to you and you can re-evaluate your choices.

Be quietly confident and your birth will feel more like your own journey, one that you contributed your voice to accomplishing.