Is this Labor?

As the due date approaches and anticipation builds, an expectant mom is looking for any signs of labor.  It is not just due to her own anticipation, but all the many friends and relatives who are calling, stopping by, and asking, "Are you in labor?"

Don't dare bend over and hold your breath - the onlookers will be quickly dialing "9ll".  Expectations are high.

But labor is a combination of many factors.  It is typically not just contractions.  And as it progresses, the reality that "this is labor" usually becomes very clear without the insistent questions.

Sometimes one of the signs that things are loosening up is the loss of the mucous plug.  Although exciting, does it mean labor is imminent.  Unfortunately no.  I had one client who didn't go into labor for a couple of weeks after losing it.  And she was having her 4th child.  I've also had clients who did go into labor that same day.

So although it doesn't clearly tell you "this is labor", it is none the less a fun sight to share with others in the house (oh yes, many dads have been subjected to observing this progress),  and a topic to share with all the many anxious family and friends who are asking "is this labor?" 

Hang in there - a day will arrive soon when you can answer "YES". 

When Storm Clouds Form

Pregnancy is an emotional time.  There seem to be many moments when things don't appear to be going in the right direction.  Are you dealing with nausea for days - or weeks?  Are the many bathroom breaks starting to wear on you?  Sleep is becoming a distant memory.

Bigger issues are dealing with doctor's appointments, what will the hospital policies be and how will you cope with everything?  The expenses climb - the anxiety climbs - storm clouds forming on the horizon.

But I was thinking about literal storm clouds tonight.  I see many labors start when there are big storms. The change in the barimetric pressure can cause the water to break - so during some of the worst storms - families and doulas are heading to a hospital.  But it also makes for a great story. 

Just as a storm passes and clears the air - emotional times of pregnancy pass and settle into a calmer time.  So literally as the "sun will come out tomorrow", keep moving forward, have a confidence about the future.  When storm clouds form - a bright sky is in the future!

When A Doula Misses A Birth

This might seem like a strange topic, but in almost every interview I've attended, one of the questions is "Have you ever had two moms in labor at once?"  After over 750 births, the answer is a resounding "yes". A few times,  3 moms in laboring stages at once.  What does a doula do?

We have to have qualified backup to make sure that families who are expecting doula support for their birth - have doula support for their birth.  So a doula's backup is a very important person.  She allows a doula to take more than l birth a year - or a vacation once in awhile.  Or even to get through something like a bad cold.

Expectant moms understand that even though they may have a primary OB, many, many times they are uncertain that the doctor doing the delivery will be their primary or even perhaps a doctor they have never met.  It will be the doctor on call that day.  That is one reason some families look for a doula - to have a person in the room that they know, have developed a trust in before the birth.  It is a privileged responsibility that doulas take seriously.

In many years of attendiing births, I have a very small amount of times I have had to use a backup.  Thankfully. But it can happen and having someone who is willing and able to run to an unexpected birth, of a family that they've not met, is amazing.  And in my experience, families love the backup and are grateful for the support.

But how does the doula feel when she has to send backup.  Sad.  After months of preparing to support a family through their birth, it is so disappointing to be somewhere else and get the messages of the progress of the birth.   That has happened to me twice in a month and I have to say it has been hard to miss the births.  Of course the families have loved their birth and their doula support - which tells me that the wonderful doulas I use as backup are well qualified - and great!  But it has been so disappointing to not be the person in the room sharing the journey.  I'm just glad I'm the disappointed one - not the clients.  I'm looking forward to many more exciting birth journeys - and to hopefully making the rest of my births this year without need for backup!  But if I do need to send someone else, know that it will be  a wonderful doula.