Laughter

Many don't link the thought of "laughter" with a birth.  But I have found many births to contain moments of laughter - and those are great memories.

Recently, the couple and I were rolling in laughter about an event during the labor - and kept retelling it and laughing throughout the day.

Of course, everything is funnier at 4am.  Once a nurse walked in on a dad and I laughing heartily and said, "There is entirely too much happiness in this room."  Yes - and labor rooms can be happy rooms!

A treasured memory is a birth where this couple had several family members visiting.  And the moms began to tell this couple's childhood stories.  Oh my - we laughed for hours.  Still remember this birth fondly.

Once a first time mom had been pushing for almost 3 hours.  It was going very slowly. Then, someone told a joke and the mom started laughing hard.  Guess what - that baby's head quickly delivered - so we said she 'laughed the baby out'.  Isn't that a great memory?  

Some worry about bringing a "stranger" into their labor room so they are cautious about adding a doula. But my experience has been that sometimes those long hours can be filled with a couple retelling their life stories - they've heard them many times - but telling a new person seems to be a pleasant passing of the time. And I have worked with so many interesting people and enjoy hearing their life stories.

So when I think of labor rooms - laughter is definitely a part of my description of that room. I even have two jokes I have told in labors before - just to keep the atmosphere light and pleasant.  If I work with you - I'll be happy to share them!  

Take A Breath

I have found over the years that as much as breathing is essential to life - it is just as essential to birth.  A mom who is losing focus can be brought back to her pace by monitoring her breathing.  Either her coach or doula can guide the pace to a nice slow steady beat and she can continue to progress in labor.

Recently on a birth - I had the mom resting on the bed.  I would watch the monitor and when a contraction started, I would just gently say, "Okay, take a breath".  The laboring mom realized this was her signal to start working through a contraction.  The benefit to her was that in between contractions she could actually doze off and not be "rudely" awakened by a contraction that had already raced ahead of her focus. She felt more rested while laying down.

Breathing is a key part of working through labor - having a nice steady pace to it - keeping the focus of "in through your nose, out through your mouth" to work with the process.  When you focus on the depth of your breathing, the pace of your breather,  it gives you a tool to use to keep your mind occupied in a positive way to support your labor.

So whether you are in labor - or having a tough day - my gentle reminder is "take a breath".

The Business of Being Born

So tonight I was wanting to just sit on my couch, listen to the rain, and hope for the phone to ring from the client I have who is postdates.  Decided to rewatch  The Business of Being Born.....probably not a good idea because it made me anxious to be on a birth again!    Seeing so many moms pull their newborn to their chest, and realize that the sky's the limit as to what they could do  next - they had just birthed their babies!

This experience is minimized by so many today - people who feel they are supporting an expectant mom by reassuring her that there is no need for her to "feel" anything - yet at the end of the road of interventions, won't there be feelings?  Will they all be positive? Is it necessarily feeling pain in labor that is to be avoided at all costs?  Or feeling that no one is listening to you?

I've attended over 700 births and watched so many moms and dads meet the challenge of labor and come out the other side feeling empowered and excited and joyous - even the families who had to make tough decisions and wisely chose in some cases that interventions were the right choice..

It is not the use of medication or even surgery that is the problem, it is not being given choices in the first place.  So as I wait for the next birth to begin, I'm thinking happy labor thoughts for all those expectant families who are hoping to have choices in their births.....come on birth - I'm excited to see you again.