How many times have we heard a mom ask "If my mom had short labors, can I hope to have short labors like my mom?". I asked a doctor once if genetics could predict the process of labor in a family. I was told that the only affect would be the shape of a pelvis inherited from a mom. Also I was told that if we looked at a person's sister, we could better have an idea of what this mother's labor would be.
My mom had extremely long labors and so did I for the most part. Was it genetics or just circumstances? I used to think this was genetics - but I don't know that I agree with that anymore.
After attending almost 700 births, I have not seen genetics to play as high a role in the outcome of a birth as I had thought it would.
I have worked with moms who told me their mothers had very short, easy labors - but we have worked through more than a day of labor for this mom. I had a birth recently where her mom had had 3 c/sections and her sister 2. So this mom was concerned that her outcome would run in the same direction as her family - but she tried to prepare well, added a doula to her team, and had a great doctor. Her birth actually went very quickly - pushed only 20 minutes - no problem.
A few years ago I had a family who e-mailed me on her due date that she had agreed to an induction in 2 days. Out of a need to have information - not a criticism of her choice, I wrote back to ask "is there a medical reason for the induction?" This sparked a discussion between the couple - and they opted to decline the induction. Labor came on it's own, we had an unmedicated waterbirth. Only after this did I find out that this mom's family history was a series of inductions - for her mom and sister. So she just assumed that was her lot in childbirth.
So gaining birth stories from families can be interesting to a mom facing labor - but try not to base what your path will be on the history of your family - unless they had wonderful short births - then go with that vision!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Birth = Empowerment
When you first discover you are expecting, the birth stories start flooding in on you. But do the majority of them contain the word "empowerment"?
When a mom makes a goal of an unmedicated birth, and achieves it, I can say that the sense of empowerment is huge! There is so much anxiety before the event, but once they were in it, it was just putting one foot in front of the other until the baby arrived. They now feel have the strength to do anything.
I have also seen this sense of empowerment by moms who have chosen to use medication. They have made goals to reach before getting medication - and have reached their goal - or gone even further than they thought possible - and have come out of their birth feeling so strong.
Why do I think this is important? Labor is a day or two of our lives. But motherhood is a lifelong rewarding challenge. Starting motherhood with a strong sense of our own power really makes a difference.
So the next time you talk to a mom who used a doula on her birth, see if she felt empowered by the experience. Birth is an amazing journey - let it show you the strength you have inside.
When a mom makes a goal of an unmedicated birth, and achieves it, I can say that the sense of empowerment is huge! There is so much anxiety before the event, but once they were in it, it was just putting one foot in front of the other until the baby arrived. They now feel have the strength to do anything.
I have also seen this sense of empowerment by moms who have chosen to use medication. They have made goals to reach before getting medication - and have reached their goal - or gone even further than they thought possible - and have come out of their birth feeling so strong.
Why do I think this is important? Labor is a day or two of our lives. But motherhood is a lifelong rewarding challenge. Starting motherhood with a strong sense of our own power really makes a difference.
So the next time you talk to a mom who used a doula on her birth, see if she felt empowered by the experience. Birth is an amazing journey - let it show you the strength you have inside.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Generations
After almost 24 years of labor support duties, I can honestly say my joy is supporting families through several births. I realize being invited to a birth is a privilege - and when families see the value of inviting me again - I'm thrilled and humbled!
Recently I had the chance to continue to share the journey of birth with a family for the 3rd time. Nine years ago I was with this couple when they were having their first baby. It was a long labor supported by her family, his family and me. And in the end, mom and dad were amazing in birthing their baby.
Within 8 months, I had the joy of supporting her mom through her fourth birth - again surrounded by the same family members and concluding in a waterbirth. Within another l8 months, in the same room, I again shared the birth experience with the original couple in their 2nd birth. I remember thinking what a joyous journey I had experienced with this family.
Last week, I was again invited back - this time the couple choosing a homebirth in the water for their 3rd birth. I arrived in the early morning hours where we sat in the living room and chatted. As the sun came up, mom and I walked to visit family a few blocks away, then back home. Mom took a nap and within an hour was in "labor land". Everyone arrived including the midwives. Tub was filled and just after noon, mom delivered her child into her arms with the family sharing the moment.
I've seen generations of this family arrive. And I have learned that birth is always a challenging, exciting event. It is never the same, even with the same families. Worries change with each birth - and circumstances. But in the end, if you feel safe and supported, your birth memory can be a joyous one.
So thank you to all the families who have invited me on their journey. Thank you for sharing your memory with me. My hope is that as the generations of your family arrive, I can be a part of your happy event.
Recently I had the chance to continue to share the journey of birth with a family for the 3rd time. Nine years ago I was with this couple when they were having their first baby. It was a long labor supported by her family, his family and me. And in the end, mom and dad were amazing in birthing their baby.
Within 8 months, I had the joy of supporting her mom through her fourth birth - again surrounded by the same family members and concluding in a waterbirth. Within another l8 months, in the same room, I again shared the birth experience with the original couple in their 2nd birth. I remember thinking what a joyous journey I had experienced with this family.
Last week, I was again invited back - this time the couple choosing a homebirth in the water for their 3rd birth. I arrived in the early morning hours where we sat in the living room and chatted. As the sun came up, mom and I walked to visit family a few blocks away, then back home. Mom took a nap and within an hour was in "labor land". Everyone arrived including the midwives. Tub was filled and just after noon, mom delivered her child into her arms with the family sharing the moment.
I've seen generations of this family arrive. And I have learned that birth is always a challenging, exciting event. It is never the same, even with the same families. Worries change with each birth - and circumstances. But in the end, if you feel safe and supported, your birth memory can be a joyous one.
So thank you to all the families who have invited me on their journey. Thank you for sharing your memory with me. My hope is that as the generations of your family arrive, I can be a part of your happy event.
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