Recently, several families have mentioned after a birth that having a doula was definitely worth all the money spent. One mom said a doula is worth her weight in gold. In today's market, that's quite a lot!
A birth is a lifetime journey that leaves a lasting memory on families. So if that memory can be smoothed out, supported, ending up in a great memory, what is that worth? A baby is worth the journey - but the journey imprints your memory also.
So what is the memory most families have when they have doula support - usually a good one. That is why I started doing labor support - to help one family at a time leave with a great memory.
I have found over all the years, that even the most reluctant dads who are concerned about the cost of a doula, have felt it was worth every cent after the birth. Why? What does the fee cover?
A doula's fee can range from a donation to several hundred dollars. Each doula is unique in what she offers for that fee. But I feel the biggest part of the fee is that a doula has to live her life on call. It is a difficult way to live but if you really love what you do - you are willing to sacrifice your time and scheduling for that family who needs your support. We never know what doctor's appointment we will miss, family dinner, sleepless night, missed vacation, leaving a movie early....I missed a root canal three times due to births.
The fee covers the prenatal support - a good listening ear when there is emotional support needed, suggestions, referrals, preparing for the birth - all part of a doula's role.
The birth itself - some have taken a few days - being ready to run when the family has a need - phone support 24 hours a day - and physical support during the birth. That is part of a doula's role. We want to support the laboring mom and the laboring dad - and sometimes the laboring grandmother, sister, aunt, friend, etc.
So when you are considering a doula - it is important to consider the cost. But please don't let cost stop you from having a doula. There are so many caring, energetic, responsive women wanting to provide labor support - find one that will be a good fit for you!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Monday, December 10, 2012
Vacation
Yes, even a doula takes a vacation. I have been involved in attending births for 26 years now. How have I kept myself from getting burned out from my stressful job? I plan two vacations a year.
I have found that it is not enough to just be off-call because if you are in the vicinity and a labor starts, you will still want to attend. if the phone rings with a new inquiry, you are going to take it. mif a client has a question, you are going to respond. So twice a year I call in a backup, make plans with different friends and have a "change of pace" in my schedule. This also gives me something to look forward to, especially if I have attended several very long births in a row.
When I'm entering hour 30 of a labor that still has time to go, I start remembering i have an upcoming trip.
Living life on call 24/7 for months at a time can wear on you, and cause a lot of stress. But having a brief time away with no worry about the phone ringing at 2am can have a refreshing effect. A friend and I recently went to Kauai for 5 days. Not a long trip but many hours were spent just staring at the waves and sand crabs. A definite change of pace!
Of course it is costly to take time off but the other downside can be that you worry you have forgotten how to work through a labor. Tonight I had my first birth after six weeks and was delighted to see that I had not forgotten what to do....and also it was the 795th birth I have attended.
So I guess I have no excuse not to remember how to help.
The next time you are finding yourself in a rut, follow my plan. Have a vacation! I highly recommend it.
I have found that it is not enough to just be off-call because if you are in the vicinity and a labor starts, you will still want to attend. if the phone rings with a new inquiry, you are going to take it. mif a client has a question, you are going to respond. So twice a year I call in a backup, make plans with different friends and have a "change of pace" in my schedule. This also gives me something to look forward to, especially if I have attended several very long births in a row.
When I'm entering hour 30 of a labor that still has time to go, I start remembering i have an upcoming trip.
Living life on call 24/7 for months at a time can wear on you, and cause a lot of stress. But having a brief time away with no worry about the phone ringing at 2am can have a refreshing effect. A friend and I recently went to Kauai for 5 days. Not a long trip but many hours were spent just staring at the waves and sand crabs. A definite change of pace!
Of course it is costly to take time off but the other downside can be that you worry you have forgotten how to work through a labor. Tonight I had my first birth after six weeks and was delighted to see that I had not forgotten what to do....and also it was the 795th birth I have attended.
So I guess I have no excuse not to remember how to help.
The next time you are finding yourself in a rut, follow my plan. Have a vacation! I highly recommend it.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Storms vs Full Moon
We have often heard moms looking at the calendar and declaring their birth will no doubt come on a certain day because there will be a full moon.
Although I'm sure there is some scientific evidence to prove that this may be true, i.e., barometric pressure changes, I have been in labor floors before with the place empty on the night of a full moon. I've had moms who were almost 42 weeks and the night of the full moon passed with no labor beginning. I have actually seen more labors start during storms.
Of course this seems very inconvenient since the doula is racing through the rain and wind on wet streets in the early morning hours to reach the laboring couple - but such is the nature of the job. And then we can be in a lovely labor room enjoying the birth while the rest of the area has to deal with the storm's fury.
I really don't mind the rain - what I like the least is fog. There is nothing more scary to me than navigating the causeway at 2am with the fog so thick that you can barely see a foot in front of the car. I can still remember getting a frantic call from a client at about that time - obviously labor was proceeding rapidly - and I'm trying to get to Davis in a thick fog - quickly but safely - and half asleep. I'm happy to report I did make it before the baby arrived - but barely.
It would be so handy to be able to predict when a labor is going to begin by looking at the weather report or the full moon listings on the calendar. But it just isn't that simple. Babies don't seem to have those at their disposable to use to coordinate their appearance.
So the next time you are starting to drift off to sleep with the rain and wind pounding outside, imagine the doulas navigating the storm to get to a birth. And rest assured your doula is willing to meet the challenge of dealing with all these situations to be at your side as quickly as possible to welcome the arrival of your little one!
Although I'm sure there is some scientific evidence to prove that this may be true, i.e., barometric pressure changes, I have been in labor floors before with the place empty on the night of a full moon. I've had moms who were almost 42 weeks and the night of the full moon passed with no labor beginning. I have actually seen more labors start during storms.
Of course this seems very inconvenient since the doula is racing through the rain and wind on wet streets in the early morning hours to reach the laboring couple - but such is the nature of the job. And then we can be in a lovely labor room enjoying the birth while the rest of the area has to deal with the storm's fury.
I really don't mind the rain - what I like the least is fog. There is nothing more scary to me than navigating the causeway at 2am with the fog so thick that you can barely see a foot in front of the car. I can still remember getting a frantic call from a client at about that time - obviously labor was proceeding rapidly - and I'm trying to get to Davis in a thick fog - quickly but safely - and half asleep. I'm happy to report I did make it before the baby arrived - but barely.
It would be so handy to be able to predict when a labor is going to begin by looking at the weather report or the full moon listings on the calendar. But it just isn't that simple. Babies don't seem to have those at their disposable to use to coordinate their appearance.
So the next time you are starting to drift off to sleep with the rain and wind pounding outside, imagine the doulas navigating the storm to get to a birth. And rest assured your doula is willing to meet the challenge of dealing with all these situations to be at your side as quickly as possible to welcome the arrival of your little one!
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